Dear Santa,

       I know I have not been very good this year, but I have one Christmas wish, I was wondering if when you come down my chimney this Christmas you could get my baby for me? We were having a tea-party on the roof and I accidentally dropped her down the chimney. She's stuck somewhere in the middle. 

                                                                                 Thanks,

                                                                   Michael Jackson

Dear Santa,

            All I want for Christmas is to have the burning sensation that I feel when I pee to go away!

                                                                                  Thanks,

                                                                Christina Aguilera

Dear Santa,

            You have not returned any of my calls. Is "operation suicide Santa" still on? I have included the blueprints for "operation suicide Santa", in this letter.

                                                                         Your buddy,

                                                                Osama Bin Laden